All posts by R.W. Warren

Interests - Running, Thinking, Doing, Slow-Fit Kardioga, Humour, Wordplay, Peace & Love. Global Care, Living Vegetarian. Motto (and book coming soon) - "Fail to Win"

GOP Healthcare plan includes coverage for TransRace surgery – will Trump end racism?

 Radical race tolerance groups believe that Transrace Operations will end Racism and  TrumpCare is financing it!

Trans Race Surgery Trump Healthcare
Though still underground TransRace Surgery could become very popular soon.

Transgender surgery is well known in popular culture bit soon it may be overshadowed by TransRace surgery. Michael Jackson was well known for his ethnic modification surgery that he undertook for personal reasons.

Now radical racial tolerance groups are trying to use surgery to blur the visible lines between ethnic groups thereby ending racism.

Trump Healthcare Supports TransRacial Surgery
President Donald Trump and his TrumpCare Bill could be the key to ending racism in America.

With approximately .03% of the American population as transgender it has been given relative mainstream acceptance in culture. While having debates about Gender Specific washrooms is not acceptance, it shows that it a mainstream issue not an underground subculture.


How the movement started:

During some of the Anti-police / race riots of 2016 various groups of people showed up with makeup to change their race image and see how police and others reacted. The results radicalized white people who went as African Americans.

They were shocked and outraged by how the police reacted to them with violence. Then  how the police covered up the treatment when they learned they were white. Since then they have been  promoting the blurring of visual race differences through makeup and ultimately through surgery.


With TransRace groups they are hoping that if they can get 1% of the population to switch their ethnicity through looks, they can have the same effect and be on the path to ending racism. The could have more impact if they can get some popular celebrities on board as Caitlyn Jenner did for transgender.

It is not clear that President Trump is on board with this type surgery rather another case where he did not look at the details before signing it.

Regardless Trump could help end racism in America.

Trump Trans Race Healthcare Coverage
Page from the TrumpCare Bill showing the TransRace coverage.

 

 

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Trump approves KellyAnne Conway appearance on SNL with new Microwave cameras.

For months Saturday Night Live producers have been asking KellyAnne Conway to join the show.  Finally Steve Bannon has allowed President Trump to let her join the cast.

KellyAnne Conway SNL Microwave Camera
Saturday Night Live will be the first show to broadcast using only microwave cameras and compulsive liars.

Donald Trump is a natural showman and has built a White House staff that has some of the most talented comics in the world. Shows like Saturday Night Live have been struggling to come up with comedy sketches that are funnier than the real thing.

Now the show’s producers have taken the opportunity to grab KellyAnne Conway – a key Trump advisor that the President has tossed aside.

KellyAnne Conway Saturday Night Live
KellyAnne brings a lot of characters to SNL – Woody Woodpecker, Ivanka Trump, 1st lady Jackie Kennedy, and the Legless Fact Checker!

Conway has a huge following on social media and traditional media where people love to laugh at her. She has many popular characters that have gone viral, but she excels at Improv. In interviews with news media she has made up facts on the spot delivered them with a serious deadpan face. She is not a afraid to break boundaries as when she made up terrorist attacks on American soil.

Microwave cameras KellyAnne Conway SNL
Crews are working fast to setup the new microwave cameras Russia and CIA offices are excited about getting the broadcast directly.

The show will be a first as it will be filmed exclusively by microwave cameras. These were brought to the forefront by Conway (in a rare fit of seriousness). She explained to CNN that while popular in Russia,  most Americans were unaware their microwaves had cameras. The exact date of the show is still to be announced by Saturday Night Live Staff.

KellyAnne Conway SNL Parody
KellyAnne is a great singer and does a Conway Twitty cover – Lying here with Donald on my mind!

Related:

New Donald Trump turnip toy a hit in Russia, Eastern Europe

Donald Trump upset “President Bannon” could cost him the Nobel prize

25 Great Jokes for a St Patrick’s Day Laugh

From Michael Fitzpatrick to Patrick Fitzmichael, Irish are known for their sense of humour and fun. Here are 25 jokes to get you set up for St Patrick’s day!

St Patricks Day jokes
If you can’t smile and have a laugh on St Patrick’s day – wen ken yah?

  Take some jokes, print them, cut them out, fold them, and toss them into a bowl (or mason jar if you are a Pinterest fan). It’s Hilarious to pass them around after a meal or in a meeting and read them out-loud, Speaking in our best – or worst – accent!

Here are some favourites:

  • “I had an accident opening a can of alphabet spaghetti this morning,” said Murphy. “Were you injured?” inquired Seamus.  “No, but it could have spelled disaster,”
  • A Texan walks into a pub in Ireland and says, “I hear you Irish are a bunch of hard drinkers. I’ll give $500 American dollars to anybody in here who can drink 10 pints of Guinness back-to-back.” No one takes up the offer. One man even leaves. Thirty minutes he comes back and asks the Texan “Is your bet still good?” The Texan says yes and the bartender lines up 10 pints of Guinness. Immediately the Irishman tears into all 10 of the pint glasses drinking them all back-to-back. The Texan gives the Irishman the $500 and says, “If ya don’t mind me askin’, where did you go for that 30 minutes you were gone?” The Irishman replies, “Oh…I had to go to the pub down the street to see if I could do it first”.
  • An Irish priest gets stopped for speeding. The officer smells alcohol on the priest’s breath and asks” father, have you been drinking?” “Just water,” says the priest.  “Then why do I smell wine?”The priest says, “Good Lord! He’s done it again!”

The Teacher everyone feared -Mrs McPhail

  • Reilly is walking through a graveyard when he comes across a headstone with the inscription “Here lies a politician and an honest man.” ‘Faith now,’ exclaims Reilly, ‘I wonder how they got the two of them in one grave. 1
  • ‘O’Toole and his wife are in bed one night and they hear the neighbour’s dog is barking its head off in the garden. Somewhat disturbed by the noise, O’Toole explodes, ‘Botheration and that!’ and storms off downstairs. He comes back upstairs five minutes later and his wife asks, ‘What did you do, O’Toole?’O’Toole replies with a wide grin, ‘I’ve put the dog in our garden so I did, now let’s see how they like it.’
  • O’Gara was arrested and sent for trial for armed bank robbery. After due deliberation, the jury foreman stood up and announced, ‘Not guilty.’ ‘That’s grand,’ shouted O’Gara, ‘Does that mean I get to keep the money?’

The falling Mountain Climber – Rick O’Shea

  • An English man and an Irish man are driving and collide on a sharp bend in the road. They are unscathed, though their cars are both destroyed. In celebration of their luck, both agree to put aside their dislike for the other. The Irish man goes to the boot and fetches a 12 year old bottle of Jameson whiskey. He hands the bottle to the English man, whom exclaims, ”may the English and the Irish live together forever, in peace, and harmony.” The English man then tips the bottle and lashes half of it down. He goes to hand the bottle to the Irish man, whom replies: ”no thanks, I’ll just wait till the Cops get here!”
  • Irish 7 Course Meal: 6 Beers and 1 Potato. No you can’t substitute the potato for another Beer.
  • I’m not always sarcastic – just kidding- I’m Irish Sarcasm is my second language.
  • Two Irishmen, Pat and Murphy, saw sign saying “Tree fellers” wanted Murphy said to Pat, said, ‘If only Seamus had been with us we’d have got that job.’ (One of those Irish Jokes better told than written).

The Popular Boyfriends – Phil McCracken, Miles O’Toole

  • “Oh, Father, I’ve terrible news. My husband passed away last night.” The priest says: “Oh, Mary, that’s terrible. Did he have any last requests?” “Certainly father,” “He said: “Please Mary, put down that damn gun.”
  • Paudie goes into a bar and orders seven shots of tequila and one Guinness. The barman lines up shots and goes to get the Guinness. When he comes back with the pint, all seven shots are gone. The barman says: “Wow! You sure drank those fast.” Paudie explains: “You would drink fast too if you had what I have.” The barman asks: “What do you have?”         The guy reaches into his pocket and says: “Fifty cents!”
  • Jerry Connors walked his dog through the village every day. One day Mr Connors is on his walk without the dog. His pal Billy sees him and asks: “Where is your dog?” Mr Murphy answers: “I had to have him put down.” “Was he mad,” asks Billy. “He wasn’t too pleased,” Mr Murphy replies.
Best Irish Jokes Pinterest
A bowl full of jokes for St Patrick’s Day and some Wint-O-Green Lifesavers – the ones that make sparks when you crunch them!
  • An Irishman goes into a bar in America and orders three whiskeys. The barman asks: “Would it be better for if I put all three shots in one glass?” The Irishman replies: “No! I have two other brothers back at home, so every time I come into a pub, I order a shot for them both.” The following week, the Irishman orders just two whiskeys. The barman asks: “Did something happen one of your brothers?” “Oh no,” replies the Irishman. “I just decided to quit drinking!”

A little bit stubborn – Will Knott and his bride Betty Wood-Knott

  • Two Irishmen were driving home one night when one asked the other to check if the car’s indicators are working. He promptly sticks his head out the window and says: “Yes,no,yes,no,yes,no,yes,no”
  • ‘What’s wrong with Murphy?’ asked Father Green. ‘I don’t know, Father. Yesterday he swallowed a spoon and he hasn’t stirred since,’ said Mrs Murphy.
  • ‘I’m the unluckiest person in the whole world,’ moaned Betty McGrath. ‘I bought a non-stick pan and can’t get the label off.’
  • ‘How come every time you ring a wrong number it’s never busy?’

The Well seasoned Belly Dancer – A waist of thyme

  • ‘Hello, Mary, how’s your new false teeth?’ asked Bridget. ‘I’m leaving them out till I get used to them!’
  • An Irish lass, a customer: ‘Could I be trying on that dress in the window?’ Shopkeeper: ‘I’d prefer that you use the dressing room.’
  • Feeney shouted from the kitchen, ‘Is that you I hear spittin’ in the vase on the mantel piece?’   ‘No,’ said himself, ‘but I’m gettin’ closer all the time.’
  • O’Callaghan was getting irate and shouted upstairs to his wife, ‘Hurry up or we’ll be late.’ ‘Oh, be quiet,’ replied his wife.  ‘Haven’t I been telling you for the last hour that I’ll be ready in a minute?’

Most effective Irish Sunblock – a Pub!

  • Two Irishmen were walking home after a night on the beer when a severed head rolled along the ground. Mick picked it up to his face and said to Paddy “Jez, that look like Sean” to which Paddy replied “No Sean was taller than that”
  • Paddy was tooling along the road one fine day when the local policeman, a friend of his, pulled him over. “What’s wrong, Seamus?” Paddy asked. “Well didn’t ya know, Paddy, that your wife fell out of the car about five miles back?” said Seamus. “Ah, praise the Almighty!” Paddy replied with relief. “I thought I’d gone deaf!”
  • The Irish water polo team drowned four horses during the first match.
  • One night I was chatting with my Mum about how she had changed as a mother from the first child to the last. She told me she had mellowed a lot over the years: “When your oldest sister coughed or sneezed, I called the ambulance. When your youngest brother swallowed a penny, I just told him it was coming out of his allowance.”

What’s your funniest joke?

Refugees Cross Canadian border during blizzard – was it a Trump Plan?

A stampede of refugees used a spring blizzard as cover to cross the Canadian Border from New York State. The question is who organized it?

Refugees Cross Canadian Border From New York
Refugees leave their cars and make a run for it at the Lacolle Quebec border area

During a raging spring blizzard on March 14th refugees stampeded across the Canada US  border from New York State to Lacolle Quebec. This is the first time since Donald Trump became President that a significant number of refugees crossed the border into Canada.

Hundreds, perhaps thousands are believed to have made it across

Authorities are questioning whether this is a sign of things (refugee numbers) to come and wonder who helped organize this group of border jumpers.

Prior to this refugees jumping the border were limited to a few a day. Yesterday under cover of the storm hundreds, perhaps thousands are believed to have made it across.

With numbers like this is it is clear they were organized. What not clear is was it done in the US or Canada?

A police roadblock and white-outs from the blizzard caused refugees to abandon their cars and run for the border.


American refugees entering Canada through official border crossings will be returned to America as per border treaties. If they enter by crossing the open border they can stay and seek refugee status.

 Refugees have been making the border crossing individually or in small family groups. Earlier this week a refugee came close to death by attempting the crossing in sub zero weather. Mamadou’s nightmare: One man’s brush with death crossing U.S.-Quebec border.

 This has lead border authorities to suspect that these refugees had help and organization to attempt the crossing when they did in such numbers.

  Refugees purposely crashed the cars to keep the border security patrols busy

Rather than walking long distances through the snowy wilderness they drove close to the border in cars and used the storm for cover as they ran across the last fields and crossed the border.

  Refugees purposely crashed the cars to keep the border security patrols busy while they ran the short distance across the border.

The border in this area is not secured by walls or regular border patrols but it is under heavy electronic surveillance. Sensors, cameras and drones collect data and send it to intelligence centers where the border is closely monitored.

Some were convinced that President Trump organized this to promote his border security plans

During the blizzard many of the cameras drones and sensors were not 100% functional so identifying the situation took loner than usual. When border patrols were dispatched, they had to contend with the blizzard as well.

Driving was slow and many of the cars purposely crashed their cars to block the patrols from reaching them. No one was seriously hurt but many crossed the border untouched.

The questions to be answered are:

  • Who organized so many refugees to cross at the same time?
  • How did they know the surveillance technology was not working in the storm?
  • Who owned the cars that they used and crashed?

It’s also unclear if the organization came from the American side or Canadian. Some were convinced that President Trump organized this to promote his border security plans. Others thought that Prime Minister Trudeau had the border guards turn a blind eye to allow more of the valuable refugees into the county.

Canada US Border Surveillance Technology
Scanners, Cameras, Motion/Heat/Sound detectors and Drones are key to patrolling the Canada USA border

The possible reason Montreal Police left 300 Cars Stranded on Hwy 13

Snow covered cars make driver profiling impossible, witnesses say Police leave people on road overnight rather than take risks with visible minorities.

Cars stranded on Hwy 13 Montreal
Montreal Police and SQ left 300 cars stranded on the hwy overnight

In a year that has started with many allegations of racist police profiling  things may not be getting better for police. When the biggest store of the year led to a major accident on Hwy 13 over 300 vehicles were left stranded.

Normally  if the cars were stuck for more than a few hours, then police would take steps to remove occupants of the cars to shelter. Witnesses say Police began to go car to car directing drivers to drive in the wrong direction so they could take the Cote des Neiges exit. Then they stopped.

Police have been relying on profiling to proactively arrest black people prior to committing their crimes.

Those on site said the police stopped removing the cars when they became so snow covered that they could not see inside and profile the drivers. They said they were short staffed because of the storm and did not want to be surprised by cars with black people without backup.  They decided to leave the people stranded on the highway until they could get backup.

Montreal Police and SQ have long been accused of racism by relying on profiling to proactively arrest black people prior to committing their crimes.  In this case it backfired as it prevented them from doing their job in such a public situation – the Blizzard of 2017.

No comments have been made from the Center on Research-Action on Race Relations (CRARR), or the Montreal Mayors Office.

Related:

Millennial spends 30 hours stranded in car – next to a payphone

 

 

 

100% Off coupon causes fight between store owner and Extreme Coupon shoppers

A 100% off coupon caused  a near riot with Hundreds of shoppers in McComb, Mississippi fashion store.

100% off coupon

McComb Mississippi:   In an ugly scene normally saved for Black Friday, hundreds of angry shoppers vandalized De Loxy Fashions. The customers were excited by the store’s 100% off coupons. They were expecting to use them to get free clothing.

It was like a food fight with clothes!

The store’s owner Roy De Lox was happy with the shopping frenzy until the customers tried to pay with just the coupons. When he realized what they were trying to do he threw everyone out of the store  and locked the door.

Store staff said “it was like a food fight with clothes” as customers made an angry exit. “Then they started messing up the front of the store with garbage, lipstick anything they could find.”

We mark things up 100%, so 100% Off means everything is half price!

Mr De Lox was very upset with the customers“We wanted to clear out inventory to make room for spring fashions.” “Since we mark things up 100%, so 100% off means everything is half price, not free!” “These people are crazy if they think we are giving the whole store away for free.”

” We work hard and give 110% every day and then a bunch of crazy customers show up and try to take things for free” continued Mr De Lox

Police cleared the shoppers away and no charges were laid. The Federal Bureau of consumer protection is investigating.

100% off extreme coupon riot
The fashion store was vandalized by the Angry Extreme Coupon crowd

McComb is the hometown of superstar Brittney Spears and her sister Jamie Lynn Spears. It is not known if they shop at this store.

100% off extreme coupon riot
The 100% Off coupon that started it all

 

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Toronto City Council approves new slogan: Toronto the Middle of Somewhere!

Since the passing of Mayor Rob Ford Toronto has fallen off the world map. Now city councilors want to bring it back to prominence.

Toronto city slogan

Toronto is feeling left out this year. Vancouver is the king of real estate prices, Emerson has refugees, Montreal has it’s 375th anniversary party, but Toronto is needing a boost.So enterprising city councilors decided to start with some re-branding and passed a new slogan this week.

Toronto: the Middle of Somewhere!

City Councilors were looking for a hook to promote the city with they found options were lacking. “Our official slogan is “Diversity Our Strength”, but that is kind of boring, and Justin Trudeau has been using it to promote refugees.” 

‘Diversity is our strength’: Justin Trudeau says refugees are welcome in Canada

“We the North is great but it is taken by the Raptors, we wanted something for the city” “Some liked the big smoke, the 416, and TDot but these are more like nicknames and don’t appeal to everyone.”

Others wanted to do something around the lake, but we don’t really use it. We don’t swim or do much boating it’s more just to look at.”  “If we could change the name to Lake Toronto it would be better but we didn’t know who to talk to in the States to get approval.”

The breakthrough came when they were watching the news and a guy in Calgary referred to Toronto as the Center of The Universe.

“People who live here believe it, and love hearing it, but we though scientists might not like it”   

 “Then working on the same theme, we realized that whenever someone is leaving Toronto for a trip, whether they go to Pickering or Hamilton, or Milton people say: Peterborough  – that’s in the middle of nowhere!” 

“It’s true once you get north of Steeles it’s way out of the city in the middle of nowhere.”

‘So we turned it outside the box on it’s ear and thought – if we aren’t in the middle of nowhere – we must be somewhere, and if we are somewhere we would definitely be in the middle of it.   So that was it – Toronto: in the Middle of Somewhere.”