Category Archives: National

CBC Execs Scramble to Cover-Up Ad Removal Oversight

Earlier this month the CBC announced a plan to remove all commercial advertising from its television programing – it was a huge mistake!

cbc-ad-failure
CBC spent Millions before they realized TV shows are too short to show on their own!

If the Government replaced this $400M ad revenue advertisers would focus their spending on private Canadian Broadcasters. Industry insiders say that this will help beleaguered broadcasters such as CTV, whose parent company Bell has been hit hard by the Canadian Government’s continual denial for increased cellphone rates.

Left with the hard decision between paying shareholders record high dividends and programing they chose the dividends. A spokesperson commented “This increased ad revenue will allow Bell the same license for profits as banks. Allowing steady reduction in providing service while maintaining high profits and dividend payouts for the foreseeable future”.

CBC Brain-trust forgot half hour TV shows are only 22 minutes long!

This is a great plan except CBC planners forgot that without commercials the TV shows won’t fit the time-slot. Every hour of TV there is 15-16 minutes open for advertising. Even sporting events have a TV timeout included in the game. There was no thought in how these gaps could be filled. Extra programing could be developed but this could cost millions. The original Gap fillers like Hinterland Who’s Who, and Heritage Moments are unavailable. (See below). They could also forget about traditional show timing and run 22 minute programs but this will confuse watchers and cost millions in extra programing.

Regular Fillers Hinterland Who’s Who and Heritage Moments are no longer produced

CBC’s regular go to time fillers are currently unavailable for use. Hinterland Who’s Who is tied up in a legal battle with the Dr. Seuss rights holders because of conflicts with Grinch characters.  Heritage Moments are no longer being produced as insiders claim “Canadian history isn’t all that interesting”.

whos

So far Executives are ignoring the announcement as if it never happened. Insiders say this decision could easily be reversed if it were not for CBC investing millions in a new venture that will only work if ads are removed. CBC planned on launching Porn programing to generate a lot of revenues. Read More. The problem is current advertisers will not accept porn so the CBC is caught in a tough position.

Advertisements

Trudeau Government has Arctic Sovereignty Solution

    The Canadian Government will soon release plans for a 7,000km long Arctic Great Wall Mega project to protect the country’s arctic border.

canada-northern-great-wall-concept
Artist’s rending of the Arctic ice wall concept

  Following plans for Canada to build a wall on the US border nicknamed “The Bords” the plans are in the works for another wall at the north pole.

Similar Stories

Read about Canada’s Great Wall of China Mega Project

China, Mexico Turn the Tables on Trump’s Border Idea

 An unnamed Quebec contractor, experienced at profiting from large government contracts, may have the ideal solution for protecting Canada’s north border from Russia. “I was being consult about the project on the US border and was realizing the same molds can make an ice wall.  We got excited to build a wall at the North Pole to prove Canada owns it. At first they thought it was a joke.”

When we Doubled Down, Doubling Up was the answer and Canadians love Double Doubles

   Once the government planners realized the benefits of the plan they were sold. “At first we thought it was a funny idea, however when we doubled down on the solutions-  reusing the Chinese Wall molds and using free building materials – frozen water – it was clear that doubling up the number of walls made sense, and Canadians love their Double Doubles, Ha Ha.”  

 There was also a concern for aboriginal interests in the area.  Indian and Northern affairs states “it is so far north that even the Inuit aren’t using it, but it could provide them with needed jobs so we will go ahead with it.

canada-northen-wall
The 7,000km Great Wall of Ice will protect Canada’s ownership of the North Pole against Russia

 

 Canada’s southern border wall is functional focusing on the private transportation of crude oil and taxing travelers.   The plan for the northern was replicates the Mexican wall plan – event based tourism.

The Government sees the Arctic as a burden. It is underdeveloped, unused and costs a lot to protect the border. This plan can change all of that and the tourism potential is enormous. Using Ice hotels, with power from wind generators it can be a haven for winter sports and Arctic tourism. I would be an ideal neutral location to permanently host the winter Olympics.

CBC to Embrace Trudeau’s Plan for Canadian Porn

CBC has long been challenged with profitably supporting original Canadian content. A controversial new program will allow them to do it.

this-howard-has-22
Broadcasting Canadian made porn will be the focus for CBC revenue gains

 

The recent Trudeau government announcement of plans to jump start the economy includes porn production, was a surprise, but the CBC was quick to accept it. The porn industry is worth billions worldwide and Canadian has played a small role – until now.

It seems there were many scripts and ideas developed for Canadian porn (See Below), there was just little support to develop it. With the government support product began almost immediately and the CBC Execs we quick to buy the rights. They realized they could promote the adult shows on late night TV and drive views to their website where they could cash in on the internet porn mother-lode.

 

cbc-porn
The new porn programs to be launched in early 2017

Canadian Porn coming soon

New programming will be available to go to air in early 2017. There are fresh new ideas as well as new takes on old Canadian favorites.

Canadians love to watch men in short pants, stockings and garter belts

View shows include: The Topless PM, Trans Canada, Large Double Double, Roll up the Rim and the hockey themed Shoot for the 5 hole.

Canadians will be familiar with updates on old favorites including: – This Howard has 22”, Slitts Creek, Kenny on Spenny, North of 60 (Mature), The Littlest Ho. The first handyman / cooking / sex show – Whack with Yan, and of course Mr Dress Up.

The outdoor adventure sex show Sex in a Canoe was rejected because of its close ties to American Beer (It’s f*%king Near Water!)

Initially French programing was not included in the government program so CBC will utilize Bleu Nuit classics like the Russian inspired Raspoutine, Le Gala Juste pour rire.

raspoutine

No Quebec productions were included in the Government grant program so CBC will air French classics previously aired on Blue Nuit.

 


This seems like a big move for the CBC, but executives say: “Canadians are ready for hockey-gartersporn on TV”. “Hockey night In Canada has helped make porn acceptable to Canadians”. They stated “Over the years Canada has grown accustomed to spending their Saturday nights watching men short pants, stockings and garter belts, holding their sticks, and checking each other in the corners”.   This has pushed Canadians to hold more liberal views towards sex.


 

BC Premier Clark Supports Removing Emily Carr Paintings

The government approach to art – a stand against oil or a cash grab?

bc-bans-oil-paintings
Despite protests Premier Clark Says all art will be removed to set a good example

Despite protests the BC government will continue to remove all oil paintings from government funded museums. This includes iconic paintings by Emily Carr and the Group of Seven.

In a insider statement from Premier Clarks office “This government believes in art as an influence on society. The use of oil in any form is bad for the environment so we need to set the example, taking a leadership role against using oil products.”    There have been big protests but the premier does not care.

It’s like a book burning but this art is worth hundreds of millions

Protesters are calling it a modern book burning and want the government to stop the program immediately and to disclose what has been done with the art. Protest leaders hope that the art is still recoverable, suspecting they will either destroy or sell the art.

 

emily-carr-gallery-emptied
Gallery workers leaked photos to alert the public

The oil paintings in question are worth hundreds of millions of dollars and it is suspected that they proceeds from the sale will be added to the provinces Carbon Tax fund for green initiatives or used to support the arts.

emily-carr-removed
Art lovers hope the iconic paintings have not been destroyed

Art industry insiders predict that flooding the market with this many paintings will drive prices down by as much as 60%. After the costs of removal, lost revenues in the empty galleries and the auction fees it could mean the program just breaks even.

Truth Behind Trudeau’s Meeting with Chinese Investors Build a wall against Trump’s USA

 Canadian government insiders reveal the real reason for P.M. Trudeau’s recent meetings with Chinese business leaders – they are selling him a copy of The Great Wall of China.

 

trudeau-chinese-great-wall
Chinese business leaders presenting the P.M. with a model of the Great Wall project

 It’s not a scam on the original wall, but a molded prefab replica built on the Canada US Border. It will mirror the one to be built on the Mexico US Border – La Gran Muralla. 

 Partnering with Mexico’s La Gran Muralla project will reduce Canada’s costs

  China is doubling down on their expertise in product knock-offs: they’re replicating their own Great Wall. Their plan uses molds cast live on the Great wall which will make building replicas cheap. Mexico has already agreed to build one so there could be considerable cost savings if Canada uses the same molds. (see Mexico’s plan)

 Crowd sourcing a wall……. Tolls on the Border

 The Mexican project is financed by China and will be paid off through tourism and sponsorship activities. Canada will take a multi level approach to paying for it: Crowd Sourcing, Private Investment,  Tolls and Tax Revenues.  

 Crowd Sourcing for a wall on the Canada US border was posted during the US election. Fears of Donald Trump’s foreign policies motivated a group to build a protective border wall. For a large donation people would have a visual space on the wall where they could place photos, ads, messages. When Google Maps confirmed they could film the wall for their “street view” on maps the donations poured in. These donations could be honored and included in the new plan.

 Oil companies will heavily invest in a private transportation source for crude oil 

 Building with molds means the inside of the wall could be empty – a virtual coast to coast tunnel.  Large oil companies are very interested as they could build inner rail lines or a pipeline to transport their crude privately. This would give them the freedom to save a lot of money verses traditional pipelines.

The project already has a catchy name – The Bords

 Government insiders say the rest of the money will come from charging tolls at all border crossings and general tax revenues. They propose that the economic boom created by the wall construction will offset the money spent on the wall.

The biggest issue is what will the wall be called. An early favorite plays on the border and a hockey theme – The Bords.

 

 

 

 

Vancouver Mayor Angry Over Vacant Home Tax Failure

Vancouver Mayor Gregor Robertson is angry at property developers who are avoiding the new Vacant Home tax he launched this fall.

mayor-gregor-robertson-vs-condos
Vancouver’s Mayor Robertson wants to end the Condo Futures market immediately

When the Tax against foreign ownership was  introduced there was an immediate dive in the market that indicated it was working.  Read More  Vancouver home sales drop nearly 33% in September
 Now it has been revealed that  Sales continued as property developers found a way to avoid the city’s meddling altogether.

The Condo Futures market copied the pork bellies, AirBnB, Bitcoins, Uber

Greedy and creative Vancouver developers mixed virtual reality with commodities and created Condo Futures. Rather than build properties that will owe the tax, they are selling un-built virtual condos.  Offshore investors who loved the safety of Canada for their investments, now can avoid all property tax and even maintenance costs.

vancover-fake-condos-1
Construction sites sit empty as builders sell virtual condos based on the blueprints

“The tax really opened our eyes to new possibilities” says a property insider. “we were building for people who had no intention of living in our homes, so why build them? We mixed AirBnB  and Uber for renting things they don’t have, Bitcoins for starting their own economy and the Chicago commodities market where people invest in pork bellies that aren’t even born yet”  

The result is the continuation of a lucrative market for property developers without adding anything into the economy. Mayor Robertson is furious with the developments but so far there is not much he can do about it. Early warnings against government intervention in free markets may now be ringing true.

vancouver-fake-condo-2
Builders without land are selling virtual extensions on existing property

Real estate insiders say this may be the fastest growing trend in the business. Only a few large developers are involved with thousand of offshore investors so they have been able to keep it hidden.

 

We Are Launching Soon!

After a long debate we have decided to announce the launch of But iS it?

bit-team

We wanted to say “Go live” but this is where the argument came in – when are we officially live? Was it when we first conceived the idea? Or when the website started developing? Or would it be when our first post emerged? We couldn’t decide so we agreed to call it a Launch.

If the question was: “What is Entertaining” – we hope to be the answer.

Thanks, The Team –  But iS it?